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Let’s start from the ground up.

The wonderful, painful truth is that you need to learn to actually love yourself before you can truly accept and thrive on love from others.

If you let others love you FOR you, you’re gonna have a big old gap when good things come to an end with your current flame. This is not healthy!

Listen for your self-talk and inner critic. When you hear it, challenge it. If you judge yourself harshly, you also tend to judge others in the same light. It’s hard to let go and love for real if it’s clouded by your prejudice.

Don’t assume that what others think of you completely matches your perception of yourself. Think about some of the random things that are attractive in other people. You have 100% got some attractive qualities of your own that you’re not even aware of.

To know another person properly, it helps to genuinely take an interest…ask all the questions you can think of. The answers might surprise you, and the fact that you cared to ask will make an impact. Deep down, everyone wants a witness to their life.

Take charge.

Suggest different things to do and places to go—use your imagination, the internet, copy cool ideas and draw inspiration from your/their childhood joys.

Each time you’re in novel scenario together, they will see you with fresh eyes. Novelty breeds attraction and excitement which are key ingredients for ANY stage of a relationship.

Teach them something, and learn something from them. You’re both experts on something.

Let them know your favourites. Find out theirs.

Look into their eyes. Smile.

Give screen-free time. This is a growing failure in relationships and it takes a conscious effort to unplug and connect organically.

Watch for signs of your own love language and theirs. Look for clues and try to become fluent in all of the love languages they speak.

Never quit trying to win them over, even after you’ve got ‘em. Don’t just wait for their next haircut to compliment them… LOOK for things to appreciate.

Allow your boo some space to be themselves, by themselves. Give them the privacy you would appreciate (and then some).

Be a dork. Let your kid spirit out; we’ve all got one. Life is too fricken’ short to be adulting 24/7

Remember: you can’t be everything for your partner at all times. Just be what they need at that time, and if that fails, just BE.

If you want to learn how Wingmen’s dating coach’s can help you in your search to find love, send us an email at contact@wingmen.co.nz